The Political Rant & Observation Tail

Today is Florida’s Primary. Only registered Republicans are voting.

As I approached my designated polling precinct, I wondered if it had been relocated. Did I miss the notice that the Covered Bridge Clubhouse is no longer a voting precinct? Usually there are red, white & blue signs screaming VOTE TODAY stationed all the way from the entrance to the community to the clubhouse. Yet, today, not one sign. My eyes strained for a sign. I made my left hand turn into the clubhouse parking lot and saw one little sign near the front door. Hummmm.....maybe someone has complained about the signs?

Parking, of course, was not a problem.

I was surprised yet again that there was NOT a raucous crowd adorning the driveway and walk to the glass entrance doors. Usually, there are all sorts of folks, being loud, carrying signs, passing out cards, urging one verbally and in writing to vote for the candidate of THEIR choice. I have often wondered exactly where the 100-foot radius begins where campaigning must halt? Today, maybe due to the lack of bodies present, I see a very noticeable, distinct blue line drawn across the driveway stating that Florida Law prohibits campaigning past that point. Seems more like maybe 25 feet to me, but what do I know? At least there aren’t any hecklers present.

As I enter the doors, this cute, little, old man in some kind of a uniform inquires if he can help me. Again, I wonder if I’m in the right place. I say “I’m here to vote.” He asks me if I am a resident of Covered Bridge to which I reply “No, Palm Beach National”....but again I am wondering if my polling place has changed. He steps up quickly and points to the far side of the room, “That is your side.”
“Okay. I knew that.”

There are 3 bodies seated at tables with homemade signs splitting the alphabet into thirds. I say “Hi” to a young woman who looks like a twenty-teenager. However, the man in the middle beckons me to him. I say “Hi.” As I have already pulled my Voter’s Registration from my wallet for his inspection, he says he needs my driver’s license instead. Really? I wonder....why do they even issue voter’s registrations anymore since they just want to see the picture ID. Was also wondering if a Costco membership card would work.

I say, “Guess you can tell that only Republicans are voting today since all is so very quiet.”
The elder lady on the end, a Democrat most likely, responds “Many people voted early.”
“Yes,” I reply. “But with so many dropping out, it is very easy to cast a vote for a non-runner if one votes early.”
She scowls at me.
I knew it...she is definitely a Democrat.

I take my card – is that what they’re called? It’s definitely made out of card stock but is huge with only half of it able to be stuffed into a white folder with some red and blue patriotic fodder, no doubt – I don’t read it. Am looking for a booth. Wow! The “booths” are just stand-alones with a pen on a string attached. All the millions spent on the computers with touch screens and we are back to coloring in our choice with pen on a string? Where have I been? I’m sure I vote every time there is something or someone worthy of my time ....

The choices – wow! There are 9 of them!! Now I know that Michelle Bachmann dropped out, as well as Rick Perry and Herman Cain. Who is this Huntsman fellow and why are the dropouts STILL on the ballot? Only 4 are viable candidates, so why all the confusion? I smell conspiracy to divide and conquer.

I carefully color in the invisible line completing the arrow indicating my choice, then chuckle as I take my ballot to the “box.” It’s a scanner. I ask the box attendant if the ballot goes in upside down or right side up. He says, “It doesn’t matter.” I’m not alarmed. Now I recall I asked the exact same question last time and received the exact same answer. I still smell a conspiracy......

Tail of the Job Interview

Had a job interview scheduled for this morning for 11am. With whom will remain anonymous to protect the innocent....

Started prepping for it yesterday. Did nails, cuz they were too long which interfered with my typing and the polish was chipped. Boned up on my typing by taking endless tests on-line, just in case a typing test would be required. Not having the slightest idea what bookkeeping program they employ, IF it isn’t custom designed for the corporation, I reviewed Lotus, Excel and the Open Office Spreadsheet program. Was really hoping they would just use Quick Books Pro since I have about 17 years of experience.

Awoke around 5am this morning to consider those dumb questions that interviewers always ask. You know the kind ....

What would you like to be when you grow up? Huh? Am I in 9th grade? My goal in life then was to be “a married mommy.” Guess I pretty much achieved that one! Does that even count????

Name a few of your life’s goals and explain where you see yourself in 20 years. Twenty years? Really? Am kinda hoping for the Rapture.....oh! you don’t believe in the Rapture? OK – hopefully, I will still be of sound mind & body and collecting a big fat social security check (Don’t laugh – that’s rude) and a pension from the State of Florida, which will pale in comparison to the one I will be collecting from your company..... (big toothy grin called for here).

Describe a particular crisis you encountered on-the-job and explain how you brought it to a positive conclusion. Include concerns and issues and what you may have learned from this experience. HUH??? OK, how about the time a parent marched into my office at Forest Hill High School asking if I was the long-haired, fat bitch she had just talked to on the phone. When I admitted that “yes, that was probably me, although long-haired, I didn’t believe it was right to call me fat,” she announced she was going to “kick my ass” because the dean had not returned her call. I stood as talk as I could and replied meekly, “If you feel froggy, then jump,” all the while I was calling for security on the walkie-talkie. Security arrived. Gorilla John immediately grabbed the foul mouthed offender, threw her against the wall and hand cuffed her. I sat out the rest of the event in the main office. I think that had a real good outcome. And I also had my hair trimmed the next day so as not to offend as well as noting never, ever to admit that I spoke to anyone on any phone.

Not what you’re looking for? OK, how about the time, fresh from being certified in non-violent crisis intervention, when I grabbed a male student in a bear hug to prevent him from “killing some mother?” (I think he said mother). Finding myself, nose to nose with this mature student, seeing the fire in his Latin eyes and smelling stale tacos on his breath, my chest pressed hard into his, I blushed and managed to utter, “Enjoy this hug! It will never happen again!” During what seemed to be an embarrassing ordeal for me, I asked stupid questions like “What do you want to be when you grow up, Amigo?” He was cool with it, letting me restrain him long enough to steer him back to my office. As soon as I turned my back, he escaped. I learned that I needed restraints if I was expected to hold someone prisoner.

After the interviewer’s possible questions were reviewed, I started getting dressed about 9:30. Tried on several outfits, finally found one that I deemed suitable, professional -- a traditional suit. Got my makeup done and was happy with it. Headed out the door, giving myself plenty of time to arrive timely so as not to be late. Got there with 15 minutes to spare. Announced myself and waited. One young lady approached, asking if she could help me. I told her I had an 11am interview with Keisha but that I was early.... She returned in a few minutes to ask my name. Then a few minutes after that, returned to tell me that Keisha would be out in a few minutes. I saw down, picked up a magazine. Don’t think I had finished perusing the cover when I heard the double doors open again. A white girl appeared, said her name was Kelly. She informed me that it was she who had scheduled the interview appointment, but that Corporate had just informed them that there was a hiring freeze until February sometime. I smiled. I thanked her for her time. Told her, "things happen"..... She said that as soon as the hiring freeze is lifted, she will again be contacting all of the applicants to set up interviews. I thanked her again.

Wow! Am I a dummy or what? I thanked her for her time, and smiled, and shook her hand. I even attempted to comfort her with my “things happen” comment. Why hadn’t she called me to cancel our appointment? Was I there when Corporate made the emergency call? Or when someone looked at the email? What took them so long to tell me. Were they fighting over who would have to go tell the woman that the interview was cancelled? Apparently Keisha lucked out! Not only my time, but my gas to get there????

OK not a problem. Actually, I am Blessed! Blessed beyond measure. For one thing, I didn’t have to struggle through attempting to give a suitable, interesting, creative and honest answer to one of those stupid questions. I didn’t have to leave feeling good, or feeling bad ... wondering if I would get a second interview, or if I would be hired. I didn’t have to struggle with, “am I really only worth minimum wage? With 27 years experience?... and a Bachelor’s degree? No, I didn’t. PLUS, my hubby has a job for which we are so very grateful! And the LORD is good. After all, all things work together for good to those who love God, who are called according to His Plan and His Purpose.