Faith with a Tail of Trust

I've been struggling with Chap 4 of Romans this week. Struggling to the point of my eyes are reading, but my mind goes off on a day dream some where else. And then I have to begin over again and before I know it, even though my eyes are obedient, I am once again off running down rabbits. Have tried reading aloud. It’s amazing how eyes and lips can work independently from the brain. “My” Bible is New King James. We have several other translations at our fingertips not to mention that all are available online should we choose. I picked up “The Living Bible” and suddenly, in this plain language, chapters 3 and 4 are clear. At the very least, my eyes and lips and brain all work together for understanding without field trips to other places. No, I lie. Actually, I did take a detour of sorts, due in part to my OCD about terms and definitions and EXACT meanings of words. “Trust” was the culprit this time.

I imagined flopping in a chair without even thinking about whether that chair could hold me or not. Not even my chair, but a strange chair. This is the kind of faith in the LORD that Abraham had. I’ve had that faith in the past, and sometimes even in the present ... maybe?... depending upon the day and the time of day, the subject, the weather, what color it is. You get the idea? But I digress. This is total, non-questioning faith. This is the kind of faith that the Lord wants us all to have. 

Rather than that kind of faith, I find myself possessing the kind that examines the chair first. It feels the legs for sturdiness, examines the fasteners....and God forbid that the fasteners are invisible, like dowels and transparent glue. I can even see myself sitting down very carefully, in slow motion, letting my weight come to rest in the seat, partially -- but holding the front legs with my hands. Bending completely over in my seat to watch the legs for any slight buckle while  griping them tight to insure I don’t fall. That’s the “insurance-type” of faith. I think many of us employ this type of faith these days....the just-in-case the LORD is busy right now and not watching, “I will take the pains to insure my own well-being type of faith. 

Last but not least, there is the suspicious faith. That’s where after careful examination of the chair, walking around it several times checking it out in complete detail, I choose NOT to sit in it. Instead, I sit on the floor beside it. I watch it with great doubt, sometimes with total belief that it can’t even sustain itself with no added weight what-so-ever. I fool myself that I am, in fact, arming myself with knowledge when in reality, I am experiencing true & total disbelief. Disbelief .... that means having a total lack of trust. True faith equals total trust.

(More on this subject later.  Faith's tail just got slammed in the door.)  

God is illogical to us....sometimes

We have this Indian family in our Bible Study class. Hard to tell age, but I would guess 30 something. Has wife, daughter & son. Daughter looks to be 10ish and son around 8. Anyway, the man (Robin) has been looking for work. Every Sunday in Bible Study, he asks for prayer to find a job. And the following Sunday, when making his request again, he tells where all he has looked and where his appointments are located for the coming week.

I have to admit that I have paid relatively little attention to his requests. Guess (to be totally honest) it pisses me off that there are people from other countries in my own country looking for work. Much to my own shame, I have to confess that I have cared less that he doesn’t have work. “Go back to India” has been my feeling about it all. Last week Robin had an interview in Boston. Wow! Money to burn up looking for work! Just hop a flight to Boston. Does this sound ugly of me?

Well I would have justified and defended all my deep, dark & sinful feelings up until today. Today, I listened to his requests. I heard the worry in his voice over not having a job so that he can support his family. I heard all the locations he had traveled to this week in his search. David asked him “What do you do? What kind of work are you looking for?” That wasn’t just something to ask. I think we care. I think that suddenly we all care. This is a human being, no matter his nationality, who is seeking to support his family.

Robin replied that he is a PHD, a scientist, but that he is willing to work at Walmart or Publix or any other honest means of work. However, the later immediately tell him he is overqualified and refuse to even look at his application.

Suddenly, I don’t feel so bad anymore...and neither do other folks who are unemployed. This man is a PHD and can’t find a paying job. My measly BA pales in comparison. David’s Contractor’s License seems of no consequence up against the education and expertise of a scientist’s PHD.

I am humbled...and at the same time, Blessed.

Another tail: Even So

What exactly is a tail? The most obvious, most used literal answer is the hindermost of a subject. In animals, the tail is useful for balance, for release of emotion and for swatting. It can be useful in combat, as well as for drawing other objects closer. Some use their tails for locomotion. Manmade objects include tails that act to achieve lift and direction or channel exhaust. There are also tails that simply bring a tidy end to something, like a pony tail or a shirt tail. Therefore a tail is not just the butt-end of something, but is highly useful and in some cases, enables the rest of the object to exist in its current form and manner.

Horatio Spafford’s 1873 hymn “It Is Well With My Soul” was penned following two major traumas in his life. While his wealth was literally reduced to ashes as a result of the great Chicago Fire of October 1871, all four of his daughters died during a ship collision while crossing the Atlantic Ocean on their way to England. Only his wife survived. Shortly afterwards, as Horation himself crossed the spot where his daughters died, the Holy Spirit inspired the words of the hymn. These speak of the eternal hope that all believers in Christ have, no matter what pain and grief they have encountered in this life.

The last stanza of “It is Well With My Soul” is as follows:

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

What a blessed picture of the final day Scripture portrays as the Lord returns!

Recently, after singing this beloved hymn on a Sunday evening, our Pastor noted how uplifting the words are .... that is until the final line: “Even so, it is well with my soul.” He pointed out how the “Even so” should have been “Hallelujah!,” an emphatic joyful praise of praises. “Even so” seems to indicate “ho-hummm,” almost boredom or a defeatist attitude ... a "whatever!"... an "it is what it is" and yet, the scene portrayed is the ultimate Christian Hope unfolded and come to pass with Glory. 

I agreed. To us, in this modern era, the linguistics and etymologies of what common English words once meant and what they mean in our language today vary greatly and as such, those definitions often escape us. “Even so” surely deserved investigation.

The grouping of the words “even so” appear in only two scriptural references: Revelation 1:7 and 22:20. In searching several English Bible translations, I found that some translated the Greek into “even so” while others translate it as a simple affirmative “Yea” or “Yes.” Still others, translate as “so it shall be.” 

The Greek word at question is “nai” (Rev 22:20) or “vai” (Rev 1:7). According to Strong’s Concordance, (3484) is a primary particle of strong affirmation; yes: –even so, surely, truth, verily, yea, yes.

This clears up the problem of word choice in Spafford’s usage of 1873 English. “Even so” was indeed a joyful expression of our Hope to be revealed! It is indeed a well-deserved tail. :D

Irene's Tail....

Hoping that all we see of Irene is her tail, or rather her fringes. But we are ready. Didn't shut the accordions, but the Bahamas are shut down ... just in case. Seems that, not unlike Wilma, the MPH of winds we are expected to receive continues to increase. The "possibility" now is around 55. I hate to keep revisiting the Wilma scenario, but the official forecast was that we would receive winds in the 25-50 range. We not only experienced her eye, but also winds in the 140 mph range as well, as she increased while crossing from the Naples area across the state to exit into the Atlantic along the Palm Beach County Coastline.

Other than that, we are currently having hit or miss minute squalls, minimal wind and very dark, stormy skies.

Praying for all those who may be impacted by the worst Irene has to offer....

Just another tail....

Have been hearing all these (know-it-alls) saying that if you really want a job, you must get out and go to the companies, in person. Don’t apply via computer and wait, cuz you’ll never get a job that way. OK...so, in the last few days, I have applied for several teaching positions in Palm Beach County, on-line, of course. So today, with the advice in-mind, I saddled up a big bag with all kinds of docs and so forth and went to the school board office...cuz I had applied at 9 different schools.

Finally find a park and walk in, which takes a good 20 minutes (What’s everybody there for?). See a security desk and go wait in line there. Tell Security, when it finally comes my turn, that I want to go to Human Relations. She tells me to sign in and points to a computer on the counter top. I go there...type in my first name, last name, scroll down to Human Relations and click. I hear printing. It is printing out a badge...so I’m trying to find a printer and suddenly it is there in front of me as I see a label (badge) emerging from this thing-a-ma-jig. Instructions say to tear off slowly (I read everything!HA!).

Okay, afix badge to shirt and begin looking for a way into the rest of the building....still have no idea where I am heading. Haven’t been there since 1994. I see a turn-still and go there, cuz there is no other way to go. Sign by the turn-still says key in number. I look on my badge and there is a visitor number...take a chance and sure enough, that is the right one. I go thru the turn-still. Now where? I see a “Directory” and go there. Don’t see “Human Relations” or Personnel mentioned. Finally, I notice that the directory is only for the “First Floor.” Ahhh Haaaa! So I turn around and there is an elevator behind me. I get on it, go to the 2nd floor. Get out and .... BUMMER! There’s NO directory for the 2nd floor. Guess folkes who find themselves there know exactly where they are going. I do an “ennie-meanie-miney-mo” and choose a door. But a person with a real badge emerges into the hall, so I quickly ask her. She says she will show me. We get back on the elevator and go downstairs. She says go left to the double doors and then put in the code on your badge. I point to the double doors way in the distance and ask for confirmation...she says Yes, that’s Wing A. Ok....that makes sense.

Seems that I recall HR was this way before...but she said everything had moved. Oh well....maybe not HR. The code machine is about 10 feet in front of these double doors. I’m not sure cuz it is beside a single door that reads “Mechanical Room.” I don’t want to go into the Mechanical Room. So I try the double doors. Nope, they are definitely locked. Go back and input code. Now doors open when I try them. Another dismal gray, well lit hallway. I find another elevator. Men’s restroom down another corridor, women’s restroom down another corridor. A couple of posters on the walls – reminder to clock in and out. Corridor winds around to double glass doors that go outside. I definitely don’t want to go outside. Might be locked out and have to start the process all over again. There are 2 other gray solid doors (all of them that way) with name plates, but not what I’m looking for. Across from the elevator is another “Directory.” Says Human Relations is room 132. I go back down the hall again, no room 132. Numbers stop at 119. Dang! Try the elevator. It makes noise, but doesn’t work. Try it again. Ut-Ohhhh....looks like you need a key to put in the slot thingie. Turn back to the directory. It says that Human Relations is on the First Floor. Dang again! Choose a gray door. It opens. Proceed down a corridor that comes to a crossroads. A bright room with cubicles. I hear a woman talking and go towards her voice. She doesn’t look so happy, Is very pregnant. I apologize for being in the wrong place and ask where Human Relations is? She sternly tells me to go back the way I came in, then turn left and go through the double glass doors. I gush thanks, but she looks as if I caught her sitting on the toilet instead of at her desk.

I follow directions. After exiting through the glass doors, I find that it is an open air atrium. Outside, but not outside. I come to other gray doors in the shade. One says Human Relations and the one next to it says Human Relations...do the enie-minie-mo thing again. Choose the second door. Another hallway. Go down the hallway, turn the corner and there is a counter. Am relieved cuz this looks like the place. Don’t apologize this go-round. But the women staffing the desk look like I have interrupted very important proceedings. I give my spiel. The first one point to the door I came in and says I need to call the individual schools where I replied. I admit it has been a few years, but try to invoke more conversation and discussion by asking about all the preliminary stuff they use to require, like finger prints, etc. She says all that is done at the end now. OK. I give the cheerleader smile of appreciativeness and gush my thanks. Leave. Start the trek toward my car.

Am thinking about stopping in at a couple of the schools on my way home, since they are on my way home. Decide to stop in at one, the closest one. I go to L.C. Swain Middle. Have never been there before. Has a beautiful campus. Would be a right-turn into campus off Lake Worth Road in the mornings. That’s nice. Convenient. Find a park. Not bad. Not that far to walk though lots of cars are in the parking lot. Noticed the school sign read “Orientation at 9:30.” Is 11ish...that should be over. Get out and my feet are killing me. Wow! Will definitely need new shoes if I get a job. Now my parking place seems so far and it’s so dreadfully hot. OK...make it to the front double doors. Toss my gum in the garbage. (Actually it sticks to the top of one of my fingernails and I don’t notice.) Go inside. Is very cool, looking and feeling. Very wide corridors. Lots of partitions. Media center to the left all glassed in. Administration to my right. Lots of different doors. Layers of security. Think I would feel secure here ...and safe. At least, as an office worker. Hummmm.... Place is crowded. Guess they didn’t get the memo. The Main Office is packed out with parents and students. None look real happy. I imagine getting in line. Don’t mind the wait, BUT by the time it would come my turn, I can see these people wouldn’t be so happy to see me. I look around a little more, then decide to leave. Will call them. Hopefully make an appointment to have an interview.

Heels are really hurting on the trek to the car. Have now burst the blisters. Just happen to glance at my hand and see the glob of gum I thought I had thrown in the trash stuck to my middle finger nail on my right hand. Wow! Good thing I never really got to meet with anyone. I would have shaken hands with them, making a really disgusting impression. Oh well....Everything DOES happen for a reason....

With a Tail On It!

"With a Tail On It" is an old Southern Expression which indicates a degree of depth or severity. As with life, specific tails can be good or bad, depending on the circumstance and whose tail is being considered.

The Japanese have a tradition that some animals can become Yokai (a demon spirit or monster) by acquiring extra tails, thereby gaining supernatural powers.

There's also the taboo Ouroboros, which I choose NOT to even address.

On the other hand, remember the Swedish Fairy Tale about sprinkling salt on a bird's tail? Aw, the hours (and the salt) I wasted as a young child in my endeavors trying to catch a mocking bird unawares!

Some tails are merely tails while others are indeed tales. May the ones you find here add depth and richness to your life even if just for a few moments.